


Villains for a day

by Lord_Jerry



Series: Tales from Lazytown [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: And also more Robbie, Broken Bones, But with more plot?, It's supposed to be a take on hero for a day, i guess, temporary disability
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9583532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Jerry/pseuds/Lord_Jerry
Summary: “No-” Robbie started, and then rapidly backtracked; “I mean, yes! I am in disguise, trying to… trying to… set up a trap! For that blue kangaroo! Of course I am, there’s no way my leg is legitimately broken.”In which Stephanie wonders what she's gotten herself into, Pixel has difficulty restraining himself, Stingy is not guided in the right direction,  Ziggy tries to be a part of things, Trixie discovers a whole new realm of possibility, Robbie has a list of regrets a mile long, and Sportacus is clueless.





	1. In which Robbie has issues with mobility

_Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack._

Stephanie skidded across the soccer field, barely deflecting the soccer ball from the net with her reaching foot. Stingy ran forward and took control of the ball, booting it towards the opposing net.

“Trixie, run interference!” Pixel yelled, crouching in front of the opposing net.

Trixie grinned and launched herself in front of Stingy, getting in his face as much as she could. It probably would have been against the rules in an actual game of soccer, but the kids kept their rules flexible.

“Ugh, Trixie! This ball is _mine_!” Stingy cried, trying to get around her.

“Not for long!” Trixie replied, and scooted the ball out from under him and started making her way back towards Stephanie.

Stingy gasped, mortally offended, and in doing so allowed Trixie to get to the other side of the field. Stephanie’s eyes widened as Trixie swung her leg back, kicked and –

Stingy suddenly threw himself bodily on to the soccer ball.

“Hey!” Pixel cried, “That’s cheating, Stingy!”

“It’s _mine_ , it’s _mine_ , it’s _mine_!” Stingy wailed. He picked up the ball and, the soccer game seemingly gone from his mind, ran towards the park gates.

With cries of annoyance and exasperation, the other kids gave chase. Stingy barrelled through the gates and looked left and right. He knew he wouldn’t be able to outrun them for very long at all – Stephanie could catch up to him before he could reach the next street. And then she’d give Stingy some great speech about sharing _his_ stuff and Stingy would have to give up _his_ ball-

_Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack._

Stingy, for lack for any better plan, started running away down the street towards the apple tree. Maybe he could throw it in the tree and no-one would have it. Stingy thought that was a bit mean, but still a reasonable plan. He was too busy thinking about this to pay attention to his surroundings.

_Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack-_

“Stingy!” Trixie yelled in warning, just before Stingy ran face-first into something tall and grumpy.

There was a high-pitched yelp, and a shopping bag went flying, but the person Stingy had run into miraculously managed not to fall over. The other kids caught up and gasped.

“Robbie Rotten!?” they chorused, sounding a bit more confused than angry this time.

Four sets of eyes widened as they took in Robbie’s appearance. Robbie’s leg was in a thick white cast, and he was propped upright on a set of crutches. He seemed to be trying to balance several bags of shopping on his arms whilst using the crutches to get around. It looked difficult and rather painful.

“Is this one of your disguises?” Stephanie asked, looking Robbie up and down. Robbie didn’t even have his usual suit on – Stephanie supposed the pants wouldn’t have fit around the cast.

“ _No-_ ” Robbie started, and then rapidly backtracked; “I mean, _yes_! I _am_ in disguise, trying to… trying to… _set up a trap_! For that blue kangaroo! Of _course_ I am, there’s no way my leg is legitimately broken.”

The kids didn’t believe it for a second.

“Your leg is actually broken?” Stephanie said, “That’s terrible, Robbie! You shouldn’t be walking around Lazytown while your leg is in a plaster!”

“Believe me, I don’t want to,” Robbie said tragically, “But I’d run out of _cake_! What’s a lazy, cake-eating man to do?”

“Not eat cake?” Stingy suggested, the soccer ball forgotten for now.

Robbie glared at him, but said nothing - he had no words to describe his disappointment and disgust at such a statement. Stephanie thought Robbie just didn’t have a good counter-argument.

“Hey, why didn’t Sportacus save you when you broke your leg?” Pixel asked, looking thoughtful.

“Yeah,” Stephanie said, “That _is_ strange…”

“ _Maybe_ that stupid crystal of his isn’t as perfect as he thinks it is,” Robbie muttered, and turned away to retrieve the shopping bag he’d lost hold of during the collision. “Well, if you’re done running in to me and spreading your health propaganda…”

And without completing the sentence, Robbie started hopping away, his crutches clacking rhythmically.

The kids, as ever, ignored his unspoken but clear desire to be alone and followed the town villain.

“How long does it take a broken leg to heal?” Stingy asked.

“Six to ten weeks,” Trixie replied, surprising everyone - including herself. She blushed and refused to look anyone in the eye.

“That’s a long time,” Stephanie said, thinking of the time she’d broken her arm years ago. That had only taken about four weeks to heal, and that had been one of the longest four weeks of her life.

“Pft,” said Robbie, his desire to express his opinion overriding his attempt to ignore the kids, “Doctors always overestimate, over-charge, over-diagnose. Hah! That’s why I avoid them unless I have no other option!”

“That’s not good, Robbie,” Pixel said, “Regular check-ups with your doctor are important! My parents take me to the doctor every year.”

“ _My_ father makes me see _my_ doctor _twice_ a year!” Stingy added.

“Blech. Before that damned blue buffoon turned up, I hadn’t seen a doctor in ten years!” Robbie said with pride, “Doctors are for wusses.”

“Robbie!” Stephanie gasped.

Robbie poked his tongue out at her and started hopping away on his crutches faster, but the kids kept up.

“If you’re stuck using crutches for ten weeks, does that mean you’re not going to be able to plot against Sportacus?” Trixie asked.

“Uh,” Robbie said, as though the thought had only just occurred to him, “I’m sure I’ll figure out a way. It’s not like I broke my hands this time!”

Before Stephanie could ask exactly what he meant by ‘ _this time’_ , Trixie continued. “So it’ll be a while until your next plot?”

Robbie hesitated. “It may take a teensy tiny bit longer than usual.”

“Ugh, that sucks,” Trixie said.

Robbie stopped in his tracks and turned to Trixie. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Trixie said, “Your plots are the only really interesting things that happen in Lazytown. I mean, sure, games are fun, but running away from ghosts or getting tossed around in teacups is way more exiting!”

“They’re not _meant_ to be,” Robbie defended, “They’re all elaborate ploys to get rid of that sportaloon. You could at least describe them as _clever_ or _scary_.”

The kids snorted.

“Yeah,” Stephanie said, “Sportacus would get really bored, too. He loves ruining your schemes!”

Robbie’s face twisted, and Stephanie realised far too late that she should have phrased that a little kinder than she had.

“It- I am _not_ here to _entertain_ that _blue menace_!” Robbie spat, his neutral manner evaporating in an instant, “He’s a _pest_ and a healthy _plague_ on this town, and one day I’ll get rid of him _forever_!”

“For how long?” Stingy asked hesitantly.

“ _FOR-EVER_!” Robbie yelled, and turned and hopped away at speeds the kids had never thought possible.

Too dumbstruck by Robbie’s sudden anger, the kids didn’t follow. The listened to the clacking of the crutches fade into the distance until they could no longer hear them, and looked at each other.

“I think I might have offended him,” Stephanie said guiltily.

“Eh, he’ll get over it,” Trixie said, “Did you guys notice that _all_ his shopping bags were entirely filled with cake mix?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I doing, honestly. I'm writing Lazytown Fanfiction. What has my life become.  
> This one is the lightest of the various stories I have planned so. Enjoy the innocent fun while you can, haha. Everyone will suffer eventually. Tbh I may never write them out so heh don't get your hopes up.  
> This is my first fanfiction in a long, looong time. Constructive criticism is welcomed and indeed begged for, I know this first chapter is pretty sub-par not to mention short. Hopefully as I finish this some skills may return.  
> 


	2. In which Lazytown requires fixing

Days passed, and the kids saw no sign of their local villain.

Usually the children wouldn’t think twice about this; Robbie didn’t often appear in town other than when he was being villainous, and it did usually take him a day or two to get an evil plan working. Considering his current situation, it would be unreasonable to expect him to have something ready already.

But knowing exactly why Robbie was taking his time was more help than hindrance to the children of Lazytown. They were stuck in a cycle of not knowing when Robbie would strike, and wondering whether it was healthy to be plotting at all while you had a broken leg. Robbie did tend to move a lot when he was in the throes of his shenanigans, however much he might deny it. Stephanie, feeling guilty over what she’d said to Robbie, was particularly worried whether Robbie was doing okay on his own.

Unsure how to deal with it, and unwilling to bother Sportacus with such an abstract problem, the kids did their best to put Robbie out of their minds and enjoy the warm summer days.

Stingy managed not to ruin another Soccer game. Stephanie convinced Sportacus to go Blackberry picking with them. Ziggy emerged again after his bout of sickness – he refused to call it a cold, because how could you have a cold while it was so warm?

But as Trixie had predicted, by the time almost two weeks had passed since they’d last seen Robbie Rotten, things were starting to get… a little boring.

There were only so many exercises the kids could do before it started to get repetitive. Sportacus might have an infinite capacity for jumping jacks and pushups and what have you, but the kids did not. And even Sportacus was starting to act a little antsy by the time the second week started to draw to a close.

“Sportacus, can I ask you something?” Stephanie asked at one point, a thought occurring to her.

“Of course, Stephanie,” Sportacus said, pausing in his pushups to look at her.

“Has your crystal ever missed someone who was in trouble?” She asked hesitantly, “You know, like someone was in trouble and it didn’t tell you?”

“No,” Sportacus said without missing a beat, “My crystal _always_ tells me when there’s trouble!”

“Really?” Stephanie said, feeling a bit taken aback at the direct answer, “But if someone’s in trouble and you don’t know, you might never find out. How can you be sure?”

Sportacus jumped up to his feet and looked down at Stephanie with a crease in his brow. “That’s a good point, Stephanie. But don’t worry – I’m always on the lookout for trouble. I’m sure I won’t miss anything.”

Stephanie decided to leave the conversation at that, before Sportacus started wondering why Stephanie was asking about it. He clearly had no idea about Robbie, and Stephanie suspected that that was how Robbie preferred it.

If Robbie had wanted or needed help, he’d have asked for it. Right?

It only took one more day of playing sport and being outside and active and healthy for Trixie to snap. She proclaimed to her friends that that day they were going to be playing somewhere new. The kids had been intrigued at first, but became exasperated when Trixie led the quintet of friends to the meadow right outside Robbie Rotten’s home.

After all, what better way to get Robbie to do something drastic than to be as active and loud as possible right on top of his home?

However, even after hours and hours of particularly noisy games and running around, none of the kids had seen hide nor hair of Robbie Rotten. Even Trixie’s ear-piercing shrieks as she fled from Stingy – who was incredibly talented at being ‘It’ – failed to get the villain to appear.

Ziggy thought he saw Robbie’s periscope at one point, but as no-one had told him about the encounter with Robbie yet and so he immediately forgot it.

After the kids had collapsed on the grass, exhausted from their over-active games, Trixie spoke up.

“We have _got_ to do something,” Trixie said.

“About what?” Pixel asked, lying on his back with his eyes closed.

“About Robbie!” Trixie said, “I can’t take much more of this! Every day it’s ‘ _Eat Sportscandy_ ’ or ‘ _Let’s do jumping jacks’_ or whatever healthy activity Sportacus suggests.”

“But being healthy is fun,” Stephanie said, “ _You’re_ sounding like Robbie now.”

Trixie poked her tongue out at her best friend. “I’m not saying it’s not fun. It’s just that without Robbie’s plots, we never get a break from it!”

“I haven’t eaten a taffy in a _week_ ,” Ziggy sighed, “Sportacus always makes me want to eat sportscandy, but I really miss taffy.”

“Robbie’s plots _do_ provide a nice break from our normal routines,” Stingy said, “I _had_ hoped he’d be back by now, but it seems I was wrong.”

“Back from where?” Ziggy asked, “Did Robbie go on holiday?”

The other kids suddenly realised they hadn’t told Ziggy about what had happened, and rapidly explained how they had met Robbie a while ago and how he’d seemed to have broken his leg.

“Man, I really wish you guys would tell me things!” Ziggy groused, “You _always_ forget to tell me stuff like this!”

“Sorry Ziggy,” Stephanie said, though she knew she would probably end up doing it again.

“Well, back on topic,” Pixel said, “I don’t see what we could do. I mean, I could try inventing something that would speed up the healing process, but it’s always a bad idea to interfere too much with biology…”

“Yeah, let’s avoid any crazy inventions, or we’ll end up being the plot of the day ourselves!” Stephanie said, laughing.

There was a moment’s pause.

Trixie stroked her chin thoughtfully. “You know, I think I have an idea….”

\---------------------

The next day, the kids approached the billboard outside Robbie’s home, expressions filled with determination. They’d retrieved Pixel from his new video game and Ziggy was proudly carrying a large basket with him.

They opened the hidden door in the billboard and stepped through.

When Stephanie arrived in Lazytown, she had been confused about where Robbie lived. She’d never seen him around any of the houses, and at times he seemed to appear out of no-where. Eventually she’d asked her friends had had been shocked to learn that Robbie lived in an underground bunker.

That had seemed very strange – sure, Robbie was ‘ _the villain_ ’, but he was also a real person and underground was not a place real people lived. The other kids assured Stephanie that Robbie had always lived there, even before he’d begun his vendetta against Sportacus. Stephanie wasn’t sure how this was supposed to be comforting.

Stingy was given the honours of knocking on the big hatch that led down to Robbie’s ‘lair’. The sharp knocks echoed down into the depths below, and the kids wondered how deep it went.

There was no response.

“Maybe you didn’t knock hard enough,” Ziggy suggested.

“ _My_ knocks were perfectly loud, _thank you_ ,” Stingy said, turning away from the younger kid.

A few moments of waiting later, there was still no sign of Robbie.

Stingy relented and knocked again, this time much firmer and clearer than before.

They waited again.

“This is stupid,” Trixie said after a minute, and brought her fists crashing down on the chute. “ROBBIE!” she yelled over the loud banging of her fists, “STOP IGNORING US OR WE’LL MAKE SO MUCH NOISE YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!! ROOOOOBIEEEEEE!”

The other kids had to clap they hands over their ears at the bombardment of sound.

“OKAY, _OKAY_!” Robbie’s voice yelled, and the periscope popped out from one of the pipes nearby, “Just quiet down, will you? What do you brats _want_?”

Removing her hands from her ears now the coast was clear, Stephanie addressed the periscope. “We just wanted to talk to you, Robbie. Can we come in?”

“You want me to _let_ you kids into my lair? Hah! _No way_!” Robbie said, “I have this place in a perfect state of organised chaos and I do _not_ need _you lot_ messing it up.”

“We _thought_ you might say something like that,” Stephanie said, trying not to let her triumph show, “So we brought something that might make you change your mind.”

Robbie paused. “I’m listening,” he said slowly.

Stephanie nodded Ziggy forward, and the blonde kid stepped towards the periscope with the basket. The basket was about half Ziggy’s size, but Ziggy had insisted on carrying it, wanting to have an important job after being left out for so long.

 Ziggy put on an air of subterfuge and lifted the checked tea towel on top of the basket a little, showing Robbie the cake within. It was a vanilla sponge cake with cream and jam filling, which the kids had made that morning especially. The kids had discussed whether it would offend Robbie to use real jam, but Ziggy had reasoned that jam was mostly sugar anyway. There was icing sugar sprinkled on top.

“Is it to your liking, Mr. Rotten?” Ziggy asked, trying to be suave but failing to hide a stupid grin.

There was a moment of silence.

“Alright, you can come in, but I’m not sharing that cake,” Robbie said.

The kids cheered, and Stephanie and Pixel opened the hatch. Stephanie was surprised to find that it _was_ heavy – she’d always assumed Robbie just had trouble because his arms were too weak. Sportacus wouldn’t have had any trouble with it, and even with two kids they opened the hatch eventually.

Inside, the chute dropped straight down into darkness. The kids glanced at each other, suddenly reconsidering whether this was such a good idea.

“Just jump in,” Robbie’s voice said shortly, evidently noticing their hesitation. After a moment, he added; “But do wait about ten seconds before the next person goes, or you’ll land on each other and crush the cake.”

Trixie, ever the daredevil, jumped in first, whooping as she disappeared into the darkness. There was no cry of pain, so the other kids guessed that she had landed safely. Next, Stingy jumped into the chute, followed by Pixel, Ziggy and Stephanie. Each was surprised to discover the chute turned into a wild slide, twisting and turning downwards. No wonder Trixie had gotten excited. Just as some of them were beginning to wonder if the slide ever ended, they came shooting out the end and into Robbie’s lair. They all landed on Robbie’s orange carpet, which cushioned some of the fall.

Robbie was standing not far away, still on his crutches, and immediately approached the pile of children. While they muttered about the landing and attempted to de-tangle themselves (one of Trixie’s pigtails was stuck in Pixel’s shoe), Robbie swept down towards Ziggy and snatched up the basket with the cake inside. He twirled away as best he could on crutches, the kids forgotten as he opened the basket to admire the cake in its full glory.

“You get to take that slide every time you come home?” Trixie said, brushing herself off, “That’s awesome!”

“It is,” Robbie agreed, “There isn’t any _sportscandy_ in this cake, is there?”

“Just jam,” Ziggy said, “We made it ourselves!”

A few of the kids winced and wondered whether Robbie was about to reject it, but Robbie merely glared at the cake and then shrugged and continued on his way. It seemed Robbie Rotten could make an exception when it came to cake.

While Robbie went off in search of something to eat the cake with, the kids took in their surroundings.

The earlier statement that the lair was in a state of “Organised Chaos” was… surprisingly accurate. That distant and brief drone-view of the lair didn’t really do justice to how big and empty it was. However, on the floor, there were all sorts of machines, as well as benches stacked high with junk. Everything seemed to have been heaped with some sort of intent, though no-one could decipher what the said intent was. However, the floor was mostly clear.

For some reason, almost everything was painted blue or made from some sort of blue metal – the exceptions to this being that horrible fluffy orange armchair and the disguise tubes up the back. As loathe as he was to admit it, Pixel had no idea how the disguise machine worked. He’d seen it in action when he’d sent the drone down here, but the inner mechanisms were hidden out of sight. Maybe he could ask Robbie about it, if he got the man in a somewhat reasonable mood.

Ziggy, curious, walked up to one of the benches and poked a strange blue ball of wiring. The ball moved as though alive and tried to scratch Ziggy with its loose, frayed ends, causing the boy to jump back in fright.

“ _Don’t touch that_!” Robbie snapped, returning with a thick slice of cake on a plate, “It’s… a work in progress. Now, what did you brats want?”

The kids looked at each other and prepared themselves for the oncoming conversation. At best, all would go to plan – at worst, Robbie would kick them out and they would have lost a cake for their troubles.

 “Well,” Trixie said, “We were thinking-“

“ _Thinking_! That’s a good sign,” Robbie said wryly, scooping part of the cake onto his spoon.

Trixie gave him the stink eye and continued. “…Since it seems you can’t do any plots while your leg is broken, _we_ could do them for you!”

Robbie opened his mouth to speak, registered what Trixie had actually said, and closed it again. Then, he slowly put the spoonful of cake into his mouth and chewed for a moment.

“Hold on,” Robbie said after a moment, some cake still in his mouth, “Let me get this straight. You five… want to commit… a villainous plot.”

“Well, nothing _too_ villainous,” Stephanie said, “We’d prefer not to get rid of Sportacus forever, if that’s okay.”

“Typical,” Robbie grumped, “But why do you brats even want to do this? I can believe that Loud girl might want to, or even Pencil or Sticky-”

“It’s _Stingy_!”

“Whatever, but Pink girl and Cookie boy? You’re two practically worship the ground Sportaflop flips on. Why would either of _you_ want to be villainous?”

Stephanie shuffled her feet, and decided to approach the situation as Robbie-centrically as possible. “I guess we just feel bad for you, since you’re stuck-“

“ _Hah_!” Robbie yelled, pointing at her dramatically. “I don’t believe a _word_! Nice try, Pinkie!”

“Well, it’s _true_!” Stephanie defended, and then relented. “I guess Lazytown just isn’t the same without a little bit of villainy. I kind of miss your crazy costumes.”

Robbie’s expression wriggled, and Stephanie had no idea how to interpret that.

“Besides,” Ziggy said, “It’s for Sportacus too!”

Robbie’s expression dropped immediately into a scowl, which Ziggy innocently missed.

“He hasn’t said anything, but I just know he’s super bored without your plots,” Ziggy continued, waving his lollipop sadly, “It’s just rescuing the kitten and making sure Trixie doesn’t fall off stuff all the time. He needs more challenge, like your evil schemes!”

Trixie and Stephanie could see flattery bleeding into Robbie’s expression now. “Well…” he said, hopping over to his big orange chair and falling into it. The kids watched, tense, waiting for Robbie to either yell at them for annoying him, or consider the idea.

“Sportacus would never see an evil scheme coming from _us_ ,” Stephanie pointed out.

“ _And_ there are five of us,” Trixie added.

Robbie considered the five children for a moment, eyes narrowed. The air was thick with suspense as the kids waited for his verdict.

“Oh, fine!” Robbie said, flinging his hands up, “Since you’re all so eager, _why not_? I’m _sure_ it won’t come back to bite me.”

The kids cheered loudly and started running around Robbie’s chair in celebration.

“Okay, none of that, though,” Robbie said, wincing, “My _leg’s_ broken, not my ears.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos on the last chapter, and particular thanks to those who commented! While not everything is going to be explained in /this/ story, if I get around to the next one... well. I can't help it if I'm a headcannon fiend.  
> I've kinda reached the end of the chapters I had properly finished, so any more updates might take a little longer.  
> Please continue giving feedback as I progress!


	3. In which villainy comes in all shapes and sizes

**Chapter three:**

**In which villainy comes in all shapes and sizes.**

 

Unfortunately for the kids, it seemed there was a little more to an committing an evil plot than to, say, simply throw a sugar apple at Sportacus and run.

“I will _not_ have you five ruin my reputation with some half-baked _prank_ ,” Robbie had said when Ziggy had suggested it. “I’m a _villain_ , not some common criminal.”

“What’s the difference?” Trixie asked.

“ _Style_ ,” Robbie said grandly, and tripped over one of his crutches. “I meant to do that,” he muttered, picking himself up and dusting off his clothes.

Since none of the kids wanted Sportacus to leave _forever_ , Robbie reluctantly agreed to tone down the vindictiveness of the plot. With his favoured goal down the drain, Robbie suggested his other usual aims, like destroying all the sports equipment or sportscandy. The kids were less than keen on those ones too, since they already owned said sports equipment, which made the whole evil plot thing a bit redundant. Not to mention they liked sports and sportscandy, and would rather not get rid of them.

Robbie started to wonder what exactly the kids thought the _point_ of his plots _were_.

Why had he thought that allying himself with the people he usually plotted against was a good idea? Oh, that’s right, he hadn’t. He just couldn’t think of another way to get them to leave him alone.

In the end, soon-to-be villains settled on good old humiliation. Some of them had hesitated over that word, but some reasoning from Trixie had brought them back around. Getting one over Sportacus and making him feel like a bit of an idiot was always a nice idea to Robbie. Even just seeing Sportacus trip over often made entire plots and their eventual demise worth it.

Though Robbie was disappointed he couldn’t wrangle the kids into anything more sinister, he agreed to the objective.

After clunking around his lair like a very strange sort of bug, Robbie produced a large blueprint from a desk drawer. A rubber duck fell out from the drawer as well, and Robbie hastily stuffed it back in, a dark glare preventing the kids from laughing aloud.

Using one of his crutches, Robbie swept a bench clear of clutter, causing dozens of metal objects to crash to the floor - the kids flinched at the action, but knew better than to scold Robbie in his own home. Leaning on the table so he could use his hands, Robbie laid the blueprint out flat and the children gathered around.

“I’ve never seen you using blueprints before, Robbie,” Stephanie said, peering at the paper. She’d seen Pixel’s blueprints hundreds of times before, but none of them had been quite as complicated as this. Then again, Pixel’s blueprints usually only involved one object, rather than an entire plot’s worth.

“That’s because I usually _don’t_ use them,” Robbie grumbled, “ _Far_ too mundane for the likes of _me_. But since the other option is currently unavailable…”

No-one was really listening to Robbie at that point, too absorbed in the blueprint. Trixie was tapping her chin thoughtfully, while Ziggy was trying to figure out whether one part was upside down or not.

“This looks categorically complicated,” Pixel said, chewing at his lip.

“Will this even _work_?” Trixie asked sceptically, frowning at a small drawing of Sportacus looking sad.

“Of _course_ it will,” Robbie said with a confidence the kids did not share, “I’m a _genius_!”

\---------

While Robbie and Pixel started gathering material, and Stephanie and Ziggy discussed the use of code words, Trixie was left to the important job of making sure that Stingy didn’t start taking all of Robbie’s things.

“Stingy, don’t touch that!” Trixie snapped.

Stingy snatched his hand away from a strange orange device. “I don’t know _what_ you’re talking about, Trixie,” he said evenly, brushing his nails on his vest.

“If you keep trying to take Robbie’s stuff he’s going to throw us out!” Trixie growled at him, glancing over to where Robbie was trying to heave several sheets of metal plating across the lair. It was an… interesting creative use of crutches.

Stingy glanced at Robbie too. “Surely Robbie wouldn’t notice if it was only a _few_ things. He _does_ have so _much_ stuff. _So much_ …”

Caught up in the thought of just _how_ much stuff there was in Robbie’s lair – stuff that could, and indeed _should_ , belong to Stingy and Stingy _alone_ – Stingy stopped listening to Trixie’s ravings. There were so many things that could be _his_ … like that box of circuit boards on the bench next to him. Robbie would never miss those. Stingy was doing them a favour by taking them, really, _Robbie_ didn’t appreciate-

The box vanished from in front of Stingy’s reaching hands, and he let out a gasp of betrayal.

“Something techy, perfect,” Robbie said, having lifted the box out of Stingy’s reach. He was awkwardly balanced on his crutches so that he could use one of his hands. It was unclear how exactly he planned to walk and hold a bulky box while using the crutches.

Robbie noticed Trixie and Stingy staring at him and raised a brow. “What? I need these.”

Stingy composed himself and straightened his tie. “Excuse me, Mr. Rotten, but I think you’ll find that those… things… belong to me.”

“What? No, they don’t,” Robbie said, frowning at the circuit boards, “They’re mine.”

“Maybe,” Stingy said, as casual as you like, “But they’re _mine_ now. Hand them back, please.”

Trixie, by this point, was very worried that Robbie was going to lose his temper, as he often did, and become completely uncooperative. She shared a grimace with Pixel, who was watching from a distance.

“Is that _so_?” Robbie said, putting down his crutches so that he could lean down to the kids’ level, balancing somehow on one foot.

Stingy nodded confidently, unphased by the sudden change in height difference.

“Then how do you explain…” Robbie said, and whipped out one of the circuit boards, shoving it in Stingy’s face, “ _This_!”

On the circuit board, written in tiny, white letters, were the unmistakable words _Robbie Rotten_. Stingy opened and closed his mouth, and Trixie leant over to look.

“That- It-” Stingy stuttered, unable to think of a suitable response quickly enough.

“Ahha!” Robbie cried, standing up again and managing not to fall over, “Outwitted by Robbie Rotten once again!”

Stingy let out a sound that somehow managed to convey indignation, suffering, shock, anger and scepticism at the same time. It sounded a bit like a stepped-on dog toy. Despite herself, Trixie couldn’t help but feel a little impressed by how Robbie had completely confuddled Stingy.

“Why do you have your _name_ on those things?” Trixie asked derisively, crossing her arms.

Robbie turned his nose up at her. “I put my name on _everything_ ,” he said, “It’s a good creative practice.”

Meanwhile, Stingy was having some kind of internal crisis. “But I want it! Give it to me!” he wailed.

“ _Rude_!” Robbie said, looking taken aback but oddly delighted; “Maybe you’re _not_ a lost cause. Tell you what, as a reward for bad behaviour, you can have _one_ of these.”

Robbie pulled one of the boards out of the box and handed it to the astonished Stingy.

“Stingy,” Trixie prompted, nudging him.

“But he just rewarded me for being _rude_ ,” Stingy said, “Thanking him seems rather counterintuitive.”

“I _am_ a genius,” Robbie said, mostly to himself, and picked up his crutches to hop back to what he was doing.

As he clacked away he added; “But don’t steal anything else of mine, or I’ll take away your place in the plan and give it to Ziggy.”

Across the room, Ziggy had gotten his lollipop stuck in his own hair and was trying to remove it by eating it.

Stingy’s eyes widened in horror.

\---------

Ziggy, freed from his sticky-sweet dilemma, eventually decided that it was about time that he practiced his part with Stingy and Trixie. Ignoring (or perhaps not aware of) Stingy’s death glare, Ziggy approached the duo.

Stephanie, left on her own for now, wondered whether exposing Stingy to Robbie like this had been such a good idea. At least Trixie and Robbie hadn’t teamed up with a plan to blow up the school… yet.

Feeling a bit bored on her own, Stephanie walked over and sat down nearby Ziggy, Trixie and Stingy to watch their practice. Her mind wandered, however, as she watched Ziggy gesture wildly with his lollipop.

Stephanie worried that her friends looked up to Robbie Rotten a bit too much. Sure, Robbie was fun, but… he was also a villain. As Robbie had said himself on multiple occasions, all that separated a villain from a criminal was presentation. Or something like that.

In the time they’d been there, Robbie was already helping Pixel build a machine that was probably capable of destroying the space-time continuum, was steadily feeding Ziggy more and more sweets, and had encouraged Stingy to not only try and take more stuff but also be ruder about it.

He hadn’t gotten to Trixie directly yet, at least, though Stephanie shuddered to imagine what that might result in.

Stephanie realised that she hadn’t included herself in her thoughts of Robbie’s influence. She guessed she was just too good or heroic or something to be influenced by Robbie’s villainous ways.

And then, with a sinking, sneaking feeling, Stephanie realised that that wasn’t quite true.

She _was_ enjoying herself. She _liked_ plotting with her friends and working together _to achieve a villainous end_. Robbie _was_ rubbing off on her just as much as everyone else.

“Oh _no_!” she said to herself.

Trixie, Stingy and Ziggy looked over at her sudden exclamation.

“Uh, are you okay, pinky?” Trixie asked, cocking her head.

Stephanie felt like she was going to burst and blurted; “Stingy has been being really possessive and Ziggy has been eating lots of candy and pixel’s making a crazy machine and I’m really enjoying working together and- and-“

The other three glanced at each other.

“That’s what we usually do, Stephanie,” Stingy said, eyebrow raised.

Stephanie frowned. That was… true. “You don’t think being villains is making us worse people?”

“What?” Ziggy said, shocked by the sudden change in topic.

Trixie laughed. “What are you talking about?” she giggled, “We’ve only been doing this for a couple of hours. We’re just as crazy as we were before.”

“I... guess you’re right,” Stephanie said, feeling a little sheepish. “I guess just feel bad for plotting against Sportacus.”

“Sportacus will forgive us. It’s not like we’re forcing him from town forever or anything,” Ziggy said.

“For how long?” Singy asked in the background, but was disappointed when no-one responded.

Trixie shuffled over and put her arm around Stephanie’s shoulders. “It’ll be fine. We’ll be laughing with Sportacus about all this by this time tomorrow. Just you wait!”

“Thanks Trixie,” Stephanie said, smiling again.

“Besides,” Trixie said, “Villainy is fun!”

\---------

“Pass the haptic transmitter, please,” Pixel said, waist-deep in machinery.

Robbie tossed the item towards him without looking, his throw wildly off but saved by Pixel’s excellent catching. “Hey!” Pixel said, “You’ll unscrew the dorsal automatic isotope ramscoop if you’re not careful.”

Robbie grunted in response and jammed something into it’s correct slot, plugging the attached wires in hurriedly. He didn’t seem to notice the corner that had chipped off. “I’m _lazy_ , not careful. Have you realigned the automatic plasma flow inhibitor yet?”

“No, the aft gluon-force power core is inverted. I need to resequence the dorsal Fergnatz reflection coil first,” Pixel said, “And I think you can be lazy and careful at the same time.”

“You know _nothing_ about being _lazy_ ,” Robbie sniffed, using his crutches to align two stobe poles with each other, “The hyperwave particle manipulator is finished.”

“Great, now we can… decontaminate the auxiliary coffee dispenser?” Pixel said, and jumped out of the machine – careful not to get caught on any of the wiring. He went over to the blueprints to double check that he’d remembered that right.

“That part is _always_ tricky,” Robbie bemoaned, reaching into a pile and retrieving a large coffee making machine. He eyed it resentfully, as though it had done him some great injustice. Maybe it had. Who knows what went on in Robbie’s lair.

“ _Why_ exactly are we adding a coffee dispenser to this?” Pixel said, peering at the pencilled lines on the blue paper as though they held the secrets of the universe itself.

“To agitate the neutronium coolant solution, _obviously_ ,” Robbie said as he dissected the coffee machine with morbid glee, “Try to keep up.”

“But wouldn’t that carbonate the dilithium core?” Pixel asked, shocked. The mere idea of using coffee in machinery was boggling his mind.

Robbie didn’t seem to notice Pixel’s reaction. “That’s what _I_ thought until I accidentally – I mean, _purposefully_ spilled coffee in one of these. It works, trust me.”

Pixel, honestly, didn’t trust Robbie’s technical abilities as far as he could throw the man. And considering Pixel was only 12 and Robbie was essentially a giant, that wasn’t very far. Maybe thirty centimetres if he was prepared for such an event.

But Pixel wasn’t one to stray from the guidelines, and if Robbie said it would work – well. His inventions usually did work… for a while.

“Okay. We’re going to need to clean the nanobrane phase converter, though, or the coffee grinds will get stuck in it,” Pixel said, looking around for something he could use to do just that.

Under a gargantuan device that looked like it was for lifting heavy vehicles, there was a large metal rod that looked about the right size for what Pixel needed. He hopped over to it, leaving Robbie to work on whatever needed doing. Robbie was mostly capable of building the machine himself, but couldn’t get inside difficult-to-reach places with his cast.

Trying not to whistle, as he was sure Robbie wouldn’t appreciate it, Pixel took hold of the steel pole and tugged. It was, typically, stuck among the other junk piled under the contraption, and Pixel had to wriggle it a bit to get it to come free.

With a final pull, the rod shifted out of place towards pixel. Pixel was just feeling triumphant over his achievement until he suddenly heard the creak of shifting metal from the contraption above him.

There was a hiss of metal grinding, and suddenly Robbie was jamming a bit of wood between the floor and a large iron strut that had been swinging downwards towards Pixel’s legs.

“Ow,” Robbie said, jerking his hand away from the wooden board that had just saved Pixel, “Splinter, ow, ow!”

Pixel was still too shocked by the sudden events to say anything. He wasn’t even sure how Robbie had gotten over here so fast – it should have taken him approximately 15.7 seconds to get to where Pixel was.

“I forgot about that,” Robbie mumbled, sucking his finger and talking to himself now, “Hm. I need to weld that back together at some point. Later! Come on, Pencil, back to work. Chop chop.”

“It’s Pixel,” Pixel protested faintly as he felt himself get herded back towards the machine.

Robbie passed pixel a five-pronged screwdriver and said; “Whatever.”

Pixel went pack to securing the boson plating, but paused when his brain caught up to him. The angle of the falling metal. Robbie’s pre-knowledge of the danger. The velocity and force of the movement. The height of the average human tibia.

“Hey Robbie,” He said, looking over his shoulder at the villain who was elbow-deep in coffee, “That thing – was that what broke your leg?”

Robbie, coffee spilling everywhere as he unplugged the bottom of the coffee basin, struggled for a moment before replying. “Huh? Oh, yes. It was awful, you know, truly. You should pity me.”

Pixel grinned. “I guessed it was, from the angle of velocity. We were wondering what caused it yesterday, but Trixie bet she’d find out first. I feel like a regular Sherlock _Ohms_.”

And lo and behold, Pixel was the first person in Lazytown to see Robbie Rotten snort with genuine laughter. Robbie, of course, caught himself after a second and collected his dignity.

“Ugh, maybe you brats should mind your own _bismuth_ ,” Robbie said dramatically, turning his nose up.

“That _hertz_ , Robbie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so (not) sorry about the puns. I've been on a bit of a roll lately and that... can bleed through. Into everything. Like a clown at a murder scene... or- or something. Ahem. Anyway.  
> Sorry this took a while. And while I'd like to, I can offer no reassurances that the next chapter or two will be any quicker. :)  
> There will either be one or two chapters left. I'd really like to get out a couple of one-shots exploring my headcannons about the LazyUniverse (heheh) out before my interest in the fandom inevitably runs out but. We'll see.  
> Please, if you see any errors, tell me! Feedback is always welcome.


End file.
